Ma prochaine vie…par Woody Allen

On devrait vivre la vie à l’envers…

Tu commences par mourir, ça élimine ce traumatisme qui nous suit toute la vie. Après, tu te réveilles dans une maison de retraite, en allant mieux de jour en jour. Alors, on te met dehors sous prétexte de bonne santé et tu commences par toucher ta retraite. Ensuite, pour ton premier jour de travail, on te fait cadeau d’une montre en or et tu as un beau salaire. Tu travailles quarante ans jusqu’à ce que tu sois suffisament jeune pour profiter de la fin de ta vie active. Tu vas de fête en fête, tu bois, tu vis plein d’histoires d’amour ! Tu n’as pas de problèmes graves. Tu te prépares à faire des études universitaires.

Puis c’est le collège ; tu t’éclates avec tes copains, sans aucune obligation, jusqu’à devenir bébé. Les neuf derniers mois tu les passes flottant tranquille, avec chauffage central, room service, etc…Et au final, tu quittes ce monde dans un orgasme !

My next life:  by Woody Allen

We should live our lives backwards…

We start by dying, that would get rid of the trauma that dogs us all our lives. Afterwards, we would wake in an old people’s home, getting better day by day. Then, we would be expelled on the pretext that we were too healthy, and we would receive our (old-age) pensions. Then, on our first day of work, we would receive a gold watch and a good salary. We would work 40 years until we were young enough to enjoy the end of an active life. We would go from party to party, we would drink, we would have many love affairs! We would not have any major problems. We would prepare to study.

Then it’s college/university; we would have a ball with our friends, without any pressures, until we became babies. The last nine months we would spend floating serenely, with central heating, room service, etc…And finally, we would leave this world with an orgasm!

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